By Way of the Rose Read online

  “I was just wondering where Tad was going. I saw her pass with bandages and such. Is someone hurt?”

  “No. Everything is fine. I guess she's merely puttin’ it away. Here, it's dark on these stairs. I'll walk ya back to your room.”

  “Thank you, but I can make it fine. Good night.” She quickly made her way back to her room.

  Sarah put on her thinnest night dress. The night was so warm she threw all the covers back from the bed, leaving only the sheet. No matter how hot it was, she had to have some sort of cover over her. It gave her a sense of security. She drifted off to sleep still wondering why Tad would wait until the middle of the night to put away anything.

  By the next morning John seemed in better spirits and they went out to have breakfast together at the little Cafe down the road before he went off to work. Here they could talk without dozens of ears listening to their every word.

  “So, you have anything planned for this afternoon?” he asked her.

  “Yes, as a matter of fact I do.”

  “Really? What?”

  “Mr. Atkins is taking me to see some man walking across The Upper Falls on a tightrope.”

  “Another date with Mr. Atkins?” John sneered before taking a drink of coffee. “You two are becoming close, huh?” he coughed.

  “No. I really wish I could get out of it, but I said yes before I even thought about it. I wanted to see the man walk the falls, but I really don't want Mr. Atkins coming around anymore.”

  “You should tell him so, then.”

  “Oh well, he's an enjoyable companion, anyway. I won't let it get out of hand.”

  “I hope not.” John clipped the words. “Well, I'll see you this afternoon.” He stood quickly.

  “Fine.” Sarah felt the distance forming between them more and more every day. What was she doing wrong? She loved John so, and to feel this wall growing between them made her heart ache. She didn't know what to say or do. She thought that living here would bring them closer together, but it seemed to be tearing them apart. She couldn't get it out of her mind that he was ashamed of her. Had she done something very wrong? She was just not wise in the ways of etiquette like Tad was. She knew the first night at dinner she'd made a fool of herself when John said he wanted to show her off. Show off what? An ignorant girl from Tennessee? Or maybe he just felt she was inferior because she was an Indian. Maybe that's why he'd refused to bring her before. The more she felt him pulling away, the more it made sense to her what Nathan had said..."He just feels like he has to be nice to you. I don't!”

  Sarah didn't feel much like going anywhere when Mr. Atkins came around to take her to The Upper Falls show. But she'd promised and she did want to see it. Maybe it would make her feel better to get out.

  John could think of nothing all day but Sarah and Mr. Atkins. The more he thought of them the more he could think of nothing else. He slipped out of work and went to the falls. A rope was rigged from one side to the other while crowds of onlookers waited for the show to start. John looked for Sarah. He didn't see her anywhere. He walked around looking at every face. Finally, he recognized her bonnet and then saw Mr. Atkins standing there beside her. He saw him bend over talking in her ear as he pointed up toward the falls to where the man was climbing the pole. As the daredevil began walking the rope John noticed Sarah grab Mr. Atkins’ arm and hold onto him. The man smiled and coiled his long, lanky, arm around her. John's blood boiled as he pushed through the crowd toward them. The onlookers gasped loudly when the man began to totter on the rope almost losing his footing. Sarah, fearing that she was going to see him fall to his death, buried her face in Mr. Atkins’ chest. To John's jealous eyes came a vision of Sarah and Mr. Atkins in what he saw as a passionate embrace. This would never do! John could not let this continue, he had to make it stop! He could not bear it! He charged toward them and grabbed Sarah from the man's arms.

  “Come home now,” he demanded. His nostrils flared and his anger soared.

  “John!” She looked shocked. “What are you doing here?”

  “I'm taking you home!”

  “Home? Oh, no! I want to see! Don't you want to see if he makes it across?”

  “No! This is a revolting show... if he does fall you don't need to see it.”

  Mr. Atkins looked shocked, but he said nothing. John pulled her through the crowd towards his buggy.

  “John, everyone wants to see this. There's little children out there watching. Why can't I? You're being foolish. What's the real problem here?”

  “I don't want you entertaining that man anymore. To think you didn't have any better sense than to let him put his arm around you! He should have known better even if you didn't!”

  “What do you mean?” Sarah asked.

  John pushed her into the buggy and got in beside her. His jaw was clenched.

  Sarah looked down at the road as they drove. “What is wrong with what I did?” She wiped away a tear.

  John knew there was nothing wrong with it, but he couldn't tell her how he felt. “Nothing. You didn't do anything wrong, it was Mr. Atkins.”

  “Then why are you so angry with me?”

  “I'm not angry with you,” he clipped off the words as he drove, yet never taking his eyes off the road to look at her. “You shouldn't get too friendly with him.”

  “Why? Is he a horrible man? When I told you about this at breakfast you didn't say anything. Why didn't you tell me about him then?”

  “I have my reasons. Just be quiet now.”

  Sarah crossed her arms and didn't say another thing. When they got to the house, John dropped her off. “I've got to get back to work now. See you tonight.” Sarah didn't say anything. She just nodded her head and went into the house.

  Sarah slammed the door and rushed past the parlor where Doug sat reading the paper, then hurried up the staircase and into her room, where she threw herself down on her bed and cried. This was turning into a nightmare! She wished she'd never come here. At least at home she could imagine that John loved and cared for her. Here his anger and bitterness was too plain. John was nothing like the idol she'd imagined all these years. Through her cries she heard three light taps on her door. “Who's there?” she called.

  “It's Doug.”

  Sarah went to her mirror to see how bad she looked. Her face was puffy. Her eyes, red and swollen. “Just a minute.” She called back as she tried to make herself look presentable. “Hello there.” Sarah smiled at Doug. “What brings you around this evening?”

  “I just thought I'd check on ya. Have ya been crying? Did that Atkins do somethin’ to ya?”

  “No. I'm fine.”

  “Ya have been crying. What's happened?” Doug stepped closer to Sarah. “What did he do to ya?”

  “It's John. He got mad and came to the falls and just grabbed me and brought me home.” She cried. “He hates me!”

  Doug wrapped her in his arms. “Shush, there. John doesn't hate ya, that I know for sure. Whatever he did today he thought it was best for ya. There, there. Don't cry anymore. He pulled her closer.” Sarah felt Doug's lips on her forehead and she pushed away from him.

  “W— what are you doing?”

  “I'm sorry.” He looked stunned. “I— I didn't mean to offend ya. I don't know what came over me!”

  “Thank you for your concern, but I think you'd better leave now.”

  “I understand. I'm truly sorry.” He left. Sarah sat down on her bed and waited for John. That evening when he got home, she went to his room. She was going to have it out once and for all! If he really was ashamed of her, if she was causing him trouble, then she could go elsewhere! There were jobs to be had, she was sure. “John, we need to talk.” From the severity on her face he must have known that he had gone too far today. The scene at the falls was the last straw. His anger was too much for her.

  “Yes, we do. This needs to be talked out.” He stepped aside to let her enter.

  “What's wrong with me, John? Am I not good enough for you and your frien
ds? I feel like no matter what I do lately, it's wrong. You tell me these people are good, yet when I try to get to know them you tell me I'm not to get too friendly! What is that all about? What are you afraid of? Afraid that I'll embarrass you? Is it as Nathan says, you just feel like you have to be nice to me but really you can't stand my sight? Are you afraid that my ‘savage’ ways will show and all your wonderful, uppity friends will see what I am? That's it, isn't it? You're ashamed of me! I've tried, John! God knows I've tried! I've tried to be someone you could be proud of, but I've turned out to be nothing but a thorn in your side and a sore disgrace to you. I'm tired, you know that? I just don't care anymore! I know now that all I'll ever be to any of you DuVals is a sorry ‘Injun foundling! John, why have you been acting like this?”

  “I don't know why I do what I do. I'm such a fool!” He held her tighter. “You mean more to me than my next breath. Forgive me, please!”

  Sarah felt the comfort in his embrace as it soothed her wounded feelings. The power he had over her emotions was unnerving. A simple smile from him made her entire world full, bright and peaceful, yet his frown could send her crashing into the most painful depths of despair.

  At the mansion, Mr. Tyson sat at his desk with his small spectacles perched at the end of his nose. As a servant admitted John, he looked over their rims at him. “Good evening, DuVal. What brings you out here at this time of the evening? Nothing serious I hope!”

  “No, no... nothing serious, Mr. Tyson, I just needed to get away for a while. To clear my head. I'd like to go on the road again. You have anything for me right now?”

  “But you told me that with your sister here you didn't want to leave her alone in the city. What's changed your mind about it now? What will she do?”

  “Oh, she'll be fine. In all honesty, it's mostly her that I need to be away from for a while. I'm sure Doug will see to her while I'm gone.”

  “Hmm, got in a tiff, did you? Well, the cause does need you. Especially now that there's a lot of talk spreading all over the country, talk of a civil war, that is. The Southerners are itching to rebel and form a nation of their own. The Southern States of America. Can you believe that?”

  “I know all about the talk, I've just been occupied with other things. But I would like to get back on the road for a while and the sooner the better. I need to clear my head about a few things and I need to be away from here to do that.”

  “Well, do you think you can leave in the morning? I've gotten word from a contact in Alabama that there's a slave child needing an escort. He's only three. His ma ran with him and she ended up getting sick along the way and dying. He's got no one now and we can't keep holding him in Alabama, it's not safe. She risked so much for her babe, we need to get him on up here for her.”

  “Yes, sir.” John shook the man's hand. “I'll be ready in the morning.”

  After leaving Mr. Tyson's John found himself walking aimlessly through the streets of Rochester. It was late when he got back. Sarah was waiting for him.

  “John, where have you been? I've been worried sick!”

  “I'm fine. I was talking with Mr. Tyson. I'm going back on the road. I'll be leaving in the morning.”

  Sarah's face became sober. “No! John,” she pleaded. “Don't do it... don't go! You can't leave me here.”

  “Don't fuss, this is something I have to do. Don't be upset, I hate it when you're upset.”

  “Yes John, I'll do whatever you say.”

  John went to search out Doug. He was the only man around that John knew he could trust with Sarah. He knew his best friend was an honorable man at heart and wouldn't try anything with Sarah as long as he knew how John felt.

  “Come in John! How about some brandy?”

  “Um, no thanks. I need a favor from you.”

  “What is it?”

  “I'm leaving for a while and going back on the road and there's something I need you to do for me while I'm gone.”

  “Anything.”

  “Keep an eye on Sarah, will you?”

  “Sure... sure I will. Ya know I will!” he eagerly volunteered.

  “And there's something you need to know. I think I'm in love with Sarah.”

  Doug's face dropped. “In love with Sarah? Yer own sister?”

  “Well, she's not exactly my sister.”

  “Who is she if she isn't yer sister?”

  “She's my adopted sister. There's no blood ties. She's an Indian orphan that my family took in.”

  “Yer adopted sister but, but... ” He suddenly stopped talking and smiled, “Oh, well what can I say, I'm engaged to my full blood cousin.” He laughed.

  “So, you will be good, won't you? This isn't just another girl... this is Sarah.”

  “Ya can trust me. I give ya my word.”

  “Make sure that she's safe and happy. But never tell her what I've said.”

  “But, John, what are ya plannin’ on doing about it? Why don't you tell her how ya feel? She may feel the same way as ya do.”

  “I don't know that I'm ready for that. I don't think I'm the marrying kind, Doug. My life has been nothing but the cause. Ladies, relationships, children? I can't handle things like this. I don't know, perhaps I'm just afraid that she won't feel the same and I'd look like a fool. I don't like feeling awkward around Sarah. I love her too much.”

  “Ya know what the problem is with ya, John? Yer always over-thinking everything.” Doug huffed.

  “Just take care of her... I'll be back soon.”

  “I should kick yer behind up over your head for bein’ an ass.” Doug shook his head.

  “I see.” John laughed. “Anyway, thank you and I'm counting on you. Remember, I love her myself. You, my dear friend, I trust with her.” They shook hands and John slowly made his way to his room.

  Chapter Sixteen

  * * * *

  Sarah stood with Doug as the train taking John away from her slowly gained speed and huffed down the tracks.

  “Come on, let's go.” He took her arm.

  “Wait, just a minute more. I can still see the train.” She pulled against him.

  “Don't ya know that it's bad luck to watch him out of sight?”

  “Bad luck?”

  “Haven't ya ever heard that before?”

  “No... Is it bad luck for him or bad luck for me?”

  “Ya know, I don't know!” He chuckled.

  “Well I don't believe in such silly things anyway.” Yet Sarah turned before the train was completely out of sight, just in case Doug was right about it. She didn't want bad luck and she surely didn't wish any on John.

  “Where do ya want to go now?” Doug asked.

  “Home.” Was all she said.

  “It's such a pretty day today. Much too pretty for sittin’ in the house.”

  “I find it quite insufferable out here... I'm happy at the house.”

  “Really?”

  “What's that supposed to mean?”

  “Are ya really going to be happy anywhere today?”

  “No... I guess not,” Sarah admitted.

  “Might as well be miserable with me as opposed to bein’ miserable alone.”

  Sarah's lips broke into a smile. “Where would we go?”

  “How would ya like a stroll in the park?”

  “I suppose so. It might do me good.” She nodded her head.

  “As you wish, my lady.” He helped her into the carriage.

  Sarah didn't care where they went. Going to the park or going back to the house to sit with Mrs. Jenkins, neither of them appealed to her.

  “John should be back soon. He hardly ever stays gone over a month.”

  “A month? He's leaving me a solid month, and in a place I know absolutely nothing about, with people I hardly know!”

  Doug switched sides of the carriage to sit next to her. “Let's not have any of this.” He put his arm around her shoulder. “Brighten up, he'll be back before ya know it. John asked me to watch out for ya while he was away and I'm goin’ to do
my utmost to make ya happy.”

  “Thank you. I'll be fine.”

  “I dedicate this entire month to ya, Miss. DuVal. We're going to have the best time possible. There's much to do and see. You'll be so happy and busy the month will fly by. Just wait and see.”

  True to his word, Doug spent every day with Sarah. They went for walks in the park, visited the University, picnicked by the falls and drove out Canal Street, past the James Cunningham and Son Company where Doug told her Mr. Tyson bought all his carriages. They saw the Erie Canal, he showed her the aqueduct where he and John had learned to ice skate many winters ago.

  “Is it hard? I'd love to learn. I want to try every new thing I can.” Her eyes sparkled and her voice squeaked with excitement as it had when she was a child.

  “If John can learn, anyone can.” He laughed. “Maybe we could all come out this winter and teach ya.”

  “That would be nice. I can't wait for cold weather now.” She smiled.

  On rainy days they'd play cards with Mrs. Jenkins and Miss. Ruby or go to the library. Sarah was never bored, there was always some event to go to. Something to see. Something to keep her mind busy and her heart from feeling lonely.

  A week and a half after John had left Sarah received this telegram.

  My Dearest Sarah (stop)

  I am in Alabama and am doing fine (stop

  Hope you are the same (stop)

  Just wanted to let you hear from me, John

  She finished reading the telegram and smiled. Just to hear from him was glorious!

  Mrs. Jenkins came into the room leaving the door open. “Sarah, dear, do you mind if I borrow one of your hat pins?”

  “Pick out the one you'd like. They're on my vanity.”

  “My, but don't we look chipper today!”

  “It's a beautiful day. The sort of day that makes me happy.”

  “Good. I'm glad to see you in such a cheerful mood,” She said as Doug poked his head through the door.

  “Sarah, let's go to the library, there's going to be a book sale. I think we might find some bargains.”

  “Sure, let me get my hat and purse. Mrs. Jenkins, just close the door when you're done.” She left with Doug.