By Way of the Rose Read online

  “I'll be here,” Sarah replied, taking a seat in one of the wicker chairs on the giant front porch. The lively music was filling the house and overflowing into the yard.

  Doug made his way over to John as soon as he stepped inside. “What was that all about with yer sister? I just asked her to dance.”

  “She was overdoing it. She needed some rest.”

  “She will be back then?”

  “I doubt it. Now if you'll excuse me, she needs a drink.” John left Doug standing staring after him.

  Suddenly the music stopped and Mr. Tyson was standing before the room. “Ladies and gentlemen. If I might have your attention, please!” he announced. “I'd like to thank you all for coming out for such a worthy cause. Because of the generosity of people like you, we have collected over two thousand dollars in goods and money tonight for the anti-slavery cause!” The people cheered. “Now, I am going to push it even farther. I am going to match what we've raised here tonight!” Everyone gasped then erupted in cheers and applause. “And the person to entrust this to, the one who will see that it makes it into the right hands, and is used the right way, is the lady here... Mrs. Susan Anthony!” He held his hand out to a dark haired woman to help her step forward as the people clapped and cheered.

  “Thank you. Thank you all.” She stood before the crowd. “And thank you, Mr. Tyson for hosting this event... ”

  “It's a beautiful night, isn't it?”

  Sarah turned and was shocked to see Doug standing there. “Very nice. Where's John?” She quickly stood.

  “He's inside listening to Mrs. Anthony.”

  “Maybe I should go in too.” She walked past him.

  “Is everything all right?”

  “Everything is fine.”

  “Is John mad at me?”

  “I— I don't think so.” Sarah stumbled on her words.

  “He's acting awfully odd tonight.”

  “Whatever problems you two have are none of my business. I'd better get back in there.” She hurried in to where John was. He handed her a glass of punch as she stood beside him listening to the woman speak. Then a distinguished-looking black man came forward.

  “That's Mr. Douglas.” John whispered to Sarah.

  “Mr. Fredric Douglas, the runaway slave?” she gasped.

  “Yes, he's a wonderful speaker! Listen to him.”

  “... Right is of no sex— Truth is of no color— God is the Father of us all, and we are all Brethren.” The man's deep voice resonated and the crowd cheered him.

  This was a window into John's world. It was exciting, yet fearful!

  “We must unite to gain true liberty and we must be prepared for a hard struggle. We will have to pay a heavy price to win our freedom. We must do this by labor, by suffering, by sacrifice, and if needs be, by our lives and the lives of others.”

  Sarah trembled as she reached out to grasp hold of John's hand. The tears in her eyes blurred her vision. Suddenly she felt an odd feeling in the pit of her stomach. She took a sip of her punch and breathed deeply. She felt weak from the excitement and the fear. This was history in the making, a great movement was growing in America and she was proud to be a part of it yet afraid of what would have to be sacrificed. She knew, being from the South, what would have to happen to gain this liberty Mr. Douglas spoke of.

  After the speeches, the music resumed and the people whirled around the dance floor again. But Sarah and John eased from the room.

  “I think we've been here long enough. I'm going to find the ladies and see if they're ready to leave as well,” He told her.

  “Very well,” Sarah agreed even though she wasn't really ready for the night to end. But then again, it would feel nice to get out of this sadistic corset!

  All during the ride home Mrs. Jenkins and Miss Ruby chattered over all the latest gossip. Sarah, John and Tad were quiet, lost in their own thoughts.

  “Did you see Mr. Blair's daughter running after Mr. Smith's son?”

  “It's the money. Mr. Blair has none so he's primed Samantha to go after money, not love.”

  Sarah looked at John and smiled. He turned to look out the window. Was he mad at her? She reviewed the evening over and over in her head to find what she'd done wrong. Surely he wasn't mad about her dancing with Doug. Was he? Was he ashamed of her? Maybe he was mad because she had danced with anyone. Maybe he didn't want her talking to his wealthy friends and letting them see that she was nothing but a poor girl from the Tennessee mountains! Had she shamed him? Sarah's thoughts raced. Finally they were pulling up at the boarding house.

  As they entered, John started towards the parlor. “Aren't you tired?” Sarah asked him.

  “I'm going to the parlor for a bit.”

  “Want me to sit with you a while?”

  “No, you need to get on to bed. I'll see you in the morning, good night.”

  “'Night, John.” Sarah slowly made her way up the stairs, with Mrs. Jenkins, Tad and Miss Ruby trailing behind her.

  “Sarah, dear, won't you come to my room for a toddy?” Mrs. Jenkins asked.

  “Thank you, but I'm much too tired tonight, some other time, perhaps. Good night, ladies.” Sarah smiled.

  As she undid her corset it felt wonderful to be able to completely fill her lungs with air again. She put her gown on and sunk down into her soft bed. She soon found herself in the world of dreams. In it, the sky was blue and the sun was shining. She and John were dancing over a green field. He picked a dainty white flower, and stuck it in her hair. Then he took her in his arms and held her close. Sarah lay her head on his chest and she felt his lips gently kiss her forehead. Then John was gone. She saw him walking away from her as dark clouds covered the sun. She began to weep. She saw one of her tears, like crystal, fall to the ground as if in slow motion. As it hit the earth a flower sprang up. She ran to catch up with John as the rain started to fall. The flowers began to spring up and cover the ground. No matter how fast she ran, she could not catch John. But her tears, along with this driving rain, soon had the world covered in these beautiful white flowers.

  Chapter Fifteen

  * * * *

  The sun poured through the windows, Sarah opened her eyes and rubbed her face. She yawned as she raised up in bed and thought about her dream. She quickly got up and dressed. Had her dream been a sign? Her heart beat hard against her chest, so hard in fact, she could feel it in her ears. She ran down to John's room, looked in, and saw that he was gone. She ran down the hall to Mrs. Jenkins’ room.

  “Whatever is the matter dear? You look like you've seen a ghost!”

  “John, he's not in his room. Have you seen him?”

  “I've just woke up myself. I'm not even dressed.”

  “I have to find him.” Sarah rushed away. She ran to Mrs. Ruby's but she was asleep when Sarah knocked and hadn't seen anyone. She asked Tad, but she hadn't seen him either. Had he stayed in the parlor all night? Sarah rushed down the stairs. She burst through the doors to find John curled up on one of the sofas. Her heart dropped and she felt herself began to tremble all over with relief. She breathed deeply before she punched him awake.

  “What is it?” He looked confused.

  “What are you doing down here?”

  “I must have fallen asleep.”

  “I was worried sick! This isn't like you!”

  “Where I sleep is my business,” he snapped.

  Sarah knew it now, he was angry... but about what she didn't know.

  “What is wrong? Did I do something?” Her lips began to quiver.

  “No, no... I'm just tired.” He took her hand. “I think I had too much to drink last night and I have a bit of a hangover. I'm a grouch on mornings like this. It isn't your fault.”

  “I had a dream that you left me here. When I couldn't find you I was scared.”

  “I'm not leaving you. I'd never do that.” He stood from the couch and hugged her. “Don't be upset. I know... why don't we go out for breakfast this morning?”

  “Do you
feel up to it?”

  “Sure, just let me go change.”

  After the ball, the house had a constant stream of men coming around to pay Miss DuVal a visit or to offer to take her on a buggy ride. Or to see if she might go for a walk with them. Sarah went to the door one day to find the gentleman who'd helped her on her first dance. Mr. Atkins looked at her, smiling with his full lipped mouth and big brown eyes. The tonic glistened in his jet black hair as the sun danced over it. Just under his aristocratic nose was a thin mustache.

  “Care to go for a ride, my lady?” He tipped his hat.

  She really didn't want to go, but he'd been so kind to her that night she didn't want to say no. For the first time, she accepted such an offer. They drove down East Avenue to where it met with Main Street. Tall buildings stretched upward toward the sky. No matter how many times she saw them, it shocked Sarah to see buildings so high.

  “It's so hard to believe that I'm here sometimes.” She smiled.

  “And where are you from again?”

  “Tennessee. Don't you know my brother?”

  “Not really. I knew he was from the South, but I didn't know where. So, did your family own slaves?”

  “No, not really.”

  “Not really? What does that mean?”

  “My folks bought slaves but we set them all free. As soon as they'd built the money back up, they'd buy more and set them free. It got us into some trouble back home, I'm telling you.”

  “I can imagine. So, you are truly here for the cause?”

  “What?”

  “The cause, you know. You believe in ending slavery.”

  “Oh, that. Yes, I do.”

  “It's hard to trust Southerners. Never know who's on your side for sure.”

  “I can assure you, no one in my family is on the slave-holder's side.”

  “That's good.” He smiled.

  “Look at those buildings.” Sarah pointed to the tall stately buildings that towered overhead.

  “They've just been built.” Mr. Atkins told her. “When the floods came a couple of years ago, the bridge and all of the buildings here on the north side of Main were washed away along with the stone piers.”

  “That's terrible!”

  “Would you believe you're riding over water now?” Sarah looked around at the buildings and the street.

  “No.”

  “We're driving over the new bridge now.”

  “You're teasing me?”

  “No,” he smiled. “Have you seen The Upper Falls yet?”

  “Oh yes. Truly beautiful.”

  “I heard that someone was going to try and walk over The Upper Falls tomorrow.”

  “Oh my... that's crazy!”

  “He's going to walk it on a tight rope. It's said to be quite a spectacle. Would you like to come with me to see it tomorrow?”

  “Yes, that would be wonderful,” she eagerly accepted before she could stop herself. She wanted to see the show so badly she hadn't thought that he was trying to make a date with her. She could have bit her tongue for saying yes to him. Even though she couldn't deny that she was having a very enjoyable time with this Mr. Atkins, and that he had a generous helping of good looks, she just didn't see anything in him. She'd rather be spending the day with John, but John never had time for her now.

  John came home from work that evening to find Sarah gone. So he wandered down towards Mrs. Jenkins’ room. “Hey, is Sarah here?”

  “No, she went out riding with Mr. Adkins.” She smiled slyly.

  John's nostrils flared as he clutched his jaw. “When did they leave?”

  “Around noon. Right after lunch.”

  “But it's after four now.”

  “Yes, they must be having a grand time.” She smiled again. She seemed to rather enjoy telling him this.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Jenkins.” John walked away. He knew Sarah wasn't doing anything wrong, but he was angry anyway. What was wrong with him? Why should she not go for rides with men, especially since he'd never divulged his feelings for her, it was perfectly honorable. But he couldn't help feeling cheated. Just as he settled himself in his chair to stew over the matter, he heard them driving up. He watched as Mr. Adkins helped Sarah from the carriage. “Thank you for a wonderful afternoon, Mr. Adkins.” John heard her say.

  “You're most welcome, Miss DuVal. I'm looking forward to tomorrow.”

  John became furious. Tomorrow? What did he mean tomorrow? Surely she's not serious about him!

  “Yes.” Sarah smiled. “See you then.” He watched as she pulled her hand from his and walked toward the house. So, she is going to see him again! He felt his heart drop.

  “Have a nice ride?” John questioned her as she walked through the door.

  “It was all right, I guess.” Sarah replied carelessly as she took her bonnet off.

  John had made up his mind not to overreact. Not to show bitterness. It was hard. “You guess it was all right?”

  “Well, it was better than sitting in here all day.”

  “Yes, I suppose.”

  “Well, we'd better get ready for dinner,” Sarah finally said.

  “You go on. I'm eating dinner in my room tonight.”

  “Oh, then I will too.”

  “Don't let me stop you. You go on.”

  “I'd rather spend some time with you.”

  “No, there's a world of people out there and it's bigger than me. You need to go see it.” John Smirked.

  Sarah felt the coldness of his remarks. She also felt the bitterness and it cut her to the core. “Fine. If that's what you wish. Good night.”

  Sarah dressed and went down to the dining room alone. She sat between Mrs. Jenkins and Miss Ruby. Tad smiled warmly at her but she looked away. Sarah didn't like herself much when she treated Tad this way, but she couldn't help herself. Tad was so beautiful, so proper and stylish, and she had been with John learning all these things while she, Sarah, suffered with Nathan. For the first time in her life, Sarah felt what it was like to hate someone out of pure spite. The green eyed monster would rear its ugly head every time Tad was near or even mentioned in conversation.

  After dinner Tad sat down in the parlor and played the piano. Mr. Tyson had made sure she had every privilege of a well brought-up young lady. She was very learned in books, manners and style.

  “Doesn't she play beautifully?” Mrs. Jenkins smiled at Sarah.

  “Yes, she's quite accomplished.” Is there anything she can't do? Sarah rolled her eyes. She got up and went to her room tired and cross. She'd had to sit there for almost an hour while Tad performed for everyone. Her cheeks hurt from the fake smile she'd plastered on her face. She couldn't wait to be alone.

  “Sarah.” She heard the soft voice of Tad behind her.

  “Yes?” She turned.

  “Can I talk with you a while?”

  “I'm very tired... can it wait until morning?”

  “I've just got up the nerve to say something and I'd like to say it now if you'll please hear me out.”

  “Very well, then.” They went into Sarah's room to talk. “Have a seat.” Sarah pulled out a chair. Tad sat down and looked into Sarah eyes. Tad's glare made her uncomfortable.

  “Why don't you like me?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I know you don't like me and I want to know why,” Tad demanded.

  “Why do you need a reason?”

  “Because I haven't done anything to you and you treat me like second skimmings. What have I done to you?”

  “Does it always bother you this badly when folks don't like you? Haven't you ever been disliked?”

  “Yes I have... but you're John's sister and he means a lot to me. I was hoping we could be friends.”

  “That isn't possible.”

  “Why? Because I'm Negro?”

  “No... what a silly thing for you to say to me.”

  “I can't think of anything I've done that was so awful except that you must hate Negro people. Am I stepp
ing out of my place? I suppose you think I should be serving you dinner instead of eating it at the same table as you. Is that it?”

  “You stop labeling me as something I'm not!” Sarah's temper flared.

  “Well you tell me what's wrong or that label is going to stick!”

  “You want to know what's wrong? Well, I'll tell you what's wrong. While you've sat up here being taught the piano and being loved by my brother, I was being beat and kicked around. While I longed to just see John for even a second you had him for years. I hate you! I hate that you took my place while I was suffering. I hate that he lavished the love on you that should have been mine! Should I go on or is this enough for you? No, I don't hate you because you're Negro... I hate you because you had what was mine!” Sarah angrily slapped herself on the chest. “You took John!”

  “It's not my fault that your family was torn apart. It's not my fault that John had to stay away. You don't understand anything. You think you're the only one who's been hurt and abused? Oh no... you're not the only one. I found a little joy, yes but it's not up to you to begrudge me that.”

  “Please just leave... I'm tired. Believe it or not, everyone doesn't have to like you.”

  “I'm sorry you feel this way... we could have been great friends.”

  “Whatever you say. Have a good night.” Sarah stomped to the door and held it open. Tad left and Sarah sat alone for a while. John's distance toward her nagged at her. Maybe I should go say goodnight to him. She started out her door when she saw candle light at the far end of the hall. She crouched back into her doorway. Tad passed by carrying a tray of some sort. What was she up to tipping around at night? What was the tray for? Sarah decided to follow and watch. Tad walked downstairs quietly. The candle which sat on the tray let Sarah clearly see the contents, bandages and alcohol among other first aid essentials. What was she doing with all that? Was someone hurt? Sarah quietly tiptoed down the dark stairs, when suddenly the door to the parlor opened and Doug stepped out. “Where are ya off to at this hour of the night?” He gave her a puzzled look.