By Way of the Rose Read online

  After breakfast the next morning, John sat at the end of the table reading, as usual, when Daniel walked by and thumped the back of his book. “Do you think you could part with that long enough to do your chores?”

  “Yes, Poppa.” John closed the book and laid it back on the shelf. He went down to the stream to gather the fish from the net. As he went he pretended he was Captain John Smith scouting out the new world for the first time. He watched all around him for Indians hiding in the bush and maybe he would even get a glimpse of the beautiful Indian Princess, Pocahontas.

  The net was loaded with fish. John picked eight of the biggest and best then let the rest go free. After cleaning his catch, he took them in to be cooked for the noon meal.

  “Oh, these are nice fat ones, John. None of us will go without plenty today!” Marion smiled in approval.

  “Where's Poppa?”

  “He and D.J. are down checking the traps. You can go help them if you will.”

  John hurried along the way. Daniel and D.J. had already emptied three of the traps. There were two rabbits and a raccoon.

  “Hey, Poppa. Momma said I should help you empty the traps.”

  “Well, I'd rather you take these up to the house since you don't know where I placed the traps. I don't want you stumbling upon one that hasn't gone off yet.” Daniel threw him a gunny sack. John cringed as he picked up the dead animals and stuffed them inside. Daniel laughed. “Son, you are going to have to get over your squeamish ways. This is all a part of life. If they don't die, we do. A man has to do what must be done. You've got to toughen up, son.”

  “I know, Poppa, but do I have to like it?”

  “No, I guess not.” Daniel admitted. “Just so long as you do what you have to do.” He smiled. “You're a good son. You know, it's time you learned to shoot a gun, I'm going to take you hunting with me soon.”

  “How soon?” John frowned. “Will I have to shoot animals?”

  “Don't worry... it won't be today, just take those on home and be sure you tie the sack high on the porch.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Daniel Jr. walked up carrying two more rabbits and threw them on the ground in front of John. “Take these while you're at it.” The lifeless animals hit the ground with a hollow thud; a shiver shot up John's spine as he picked them up with trembling hands.

  Later Poppa would skin the animals, tan and stack their hides. He would sell the furs in town along with eggs, potatoes and corn. They would put the money up until winter shopping time.

  They would also get permission to glean and pick the leftovers in the plantation cotton fields before they were plowed under. Going through the humiliation of having to, in a sense, beg tormented Poppa's proud nature. But Momma's forcefulness won out. “There's no need to have it plowed under when it can help us and the owners don't mind!” She would say. So off they'd go to glean in the fields. Momma would comb out the seeds and cord up yarn for thread. Leftovers were used to stuff the feather mattresses or as batting for quilts.

  As the days passed, fall cleaning time came around. The pillows were opened and the feathers put out in the sun to air and fluff up. Sometimes there would be a tightly coiled wad which had to be taken apart. Marion told the children these were crowns. Feather crowns, she'd say, were caused by someone having a beautiful dream about Heaven or by someone's head pressing the pillow as they lay dying. Since no one had died they figured the feather crowns must have been caused by Heavenly dreams. John wondered if he'd had a heavenly dream and had just forgotten about it because sometimes he didn't remember what he had dreamed.

  While everything was airing and sunning, the inside of the cabin had to be washed down. Floors, walls, beds and tables were scrubbed. The stove was blacked and windows cleaned. There wasn't a spot that wasn't thoroughly gone over before winter started. “There won't be a bedbug on the place now. I doubt there will be one within a mile of here with all this ferocious scrubbing.” Daniel chuckled in his throaty manner.

  This was John's favorite time of the year. The heat of summer had passed and the field labor was over. The trees had turned colors and from far away looked like flowering bouquets. The falling leaves drifted on the breeze and coated the valley with a thick colorful carpet that crunched under his steps as he gathered the wild apples and hauled them to the back porch.

  John watched Daniel and D.J. as they skinned and cleaned the deer D.J. had shot that morning. Daniel cut and placed some of the deer meat in syrup cans, then nailed them to the porch rafters. “There, that'll keep the wild beasts from getting to it.”

  John really didn't care if the wild beasts did get to it. He'd had his fill of deer steak over his brief eight years and he was sick and tired of it. He'd never had a piece of beef in his entire life and chicken was for special occasions like the Fourth of July or Easter. Sometimes there would be a turkey if they were lucky.

  Daniel had made a box over the rocks in the stream bed to hold things like butter and milk. It was like a spring house only it was a box. Before winter set in they'd pick the garden to sell in town and stock up for winter months. Potatoes were banked, apples dried, grapes and nuts gathered and wood cut and stacked. The fall garden was planted full of rutabagas, sweet potatoes, turnips, mustard, onion, cabbage and collards. Little care went into this garden. It fairly grew on its own, free of the weeds and bugs that the summer garden had to endure. By the time the cold set in, most everything was done, except for the occasional deer or other meat which could be hunted all year. Now they could settle in for winter knowing the hardest part was behind them. The day's work was done by early evening and supper was on the stove. It usually consisted of dear steak, biscuits and gravy or potatoes.

  As the family sat around the roaring fire Daniel read Poor Richard's Almanac. Marion and Agnes worked on clothes for the new baby that was expected around the first of the year.

  John was reading the adventures of John Smith, yet again, by the fire light. Daniel Jr. cleaned his rifle, his pride and joy, while Nathan watched every move he made in brotherly admiration. Cora slept peaceably in her trundle bed.

  Suddenly there was a loud commotion on the back porch. Daniel threw down the almanac and jumped from his chair. “What in the world is going on out there?” He rushed toward the window. “Oh, sweet Lord above!” He shouted as he looked out.

  “What's wrong?” Marion ran to Daniel.

  “It's a blasted bear! He's getting the apples!”

  John and the other children crowded at the window to see the bear as Daniel Jr. went to load his freshly cleaned gun. John watched as the huge black creature dumped another basket of apples onto the porch floor and began to devour their juicy sweetness. His grunts and the chomping of the apples sounded loud even in the cabin.

  “What in the world is going on here?” Marion looked at Daniel. “Shouldn't the bears be hibernating now?”

  “They're supposed to be, but this one obviously isn't.”

  Daniel Jr. rushed toward the back door with his loaded gun in hand.

  “You're not going to shoot him, are you?” John shouted.

  “That's good meat we're looking at out there, so yeah, I am. One less bear to worry about anyway. They'll rip you apart in a minute and not think a thing about it.”

  “Don't shoot it! It was just hungry. It hasn't done anything terribly wrong!” D.J. ignored John's plea as he pushed past him.

  “Get out of the way and stop being such a tit baby!”

  “Children, get away from the window.” Marion herded them back to their places.

  “Don't do it!” John shouted at his brother who kept stomping eagerly towards the cabin door. “He's not hurting anything!” John ran to block the door.

  Marion pulled John back as Daniel Jr. pointed his rifle through the door and fired a shot into the bear.

  John cried, “You shouldn't have done it! You shouldn't have! We have plenty of meat and food. It didn't hurt us to share with a hungry animal!”

  “We need all we can
get. That hide will bring a pretty penny too. You're acting like a baby— grow up!”

  “You did good, son.” Daniel patted Daniel Jr. on his shoulder. “And as for you, young man,” Daniel glared at John, “you are going to have to learn the difference between reality and your dream worlds. The reality is we can use that bear to make life better for us. It's shameful the way you acted tonight!”

  “Yeah, little tit baby!” Nathan stuck his tongue out at John.

  “No need for you to chime in, Nathan! I can tend to him.” Daniel turned back to John. “Do you understand what I'm saying to you?” John sniffled as he looked away from Daniel in contempt. “You look at me when I'm talking to you, boy! I believe it's been a while since you felt my strap on your backside, have you forgotten what it feels like? Do you need your memory refreshed?”

  John meekly looked at his father. “No, sir, I don't.”

  “Then a change of attitude had better be displayed fairly quickly.”

  “Yes, sir, I'm sorry.”

  “That's better. But I'm going to give you a lesson about the real world and how to be a man. I've let you slide too long. You are going to learn how to hunt and how to use a gun.”

  “Daniel, he's not ready! You can't force him!”

  “Marion, he's soft. You've coddled him far too long.”

  “He's just a boy.” Marion blurted out. “But a boy has to grow up.” She quickly corrected herself.

  “Now all you young'uns get off to bed.” Daniel ordered. “D.J. and I have to take care of the animal. Lord knows John isn't going to be of any help to us!”

  John, upon hearing these cutting words from Daniel, bolted off to bed. He lay there listening to Nathan eagerly volunteering to lend a hand.

  “Do I have to go to bed, Poppa? I'll help you!” Nathan begged.

  “No, you're not big enough. It's your bedtime. Run along now.”

  “But, Poppa... ”

  “Son, I said get to bed! I don't want to have to say it again! What's wrong with you boys tonight? Can't you hear?”

  “Yes, sir.” Nathan dropped his head in disappointment and slouched off to the boys’ room where John lay sniffling. “Why are you crying? You're stupid. If I was big like you I could hunt. It's not fair! I want to hunt and they won't let me!”

  “Shut up! You're too little to even know what's going on.”

  “I know what's goin’ on. You're a tit baby like D.J. says!”

  “Just because I don't want to murder living things?”

  “Because you want us to go hungry so you won't have to hunt and you don't want us to hunt either! You're stupid!” Nathan jabbed his elbow into John's ribs. “Move over and sniffle on your side of the bed, tit baby!”

  “Don't you touch me again!” John pushed at Nathan as he flounced over in bed. While he lay there he felt Nathan's finger on his shoulder,

  “Touch, touch,” Nathan whispered.

  John shrugged it off and went to sleep.

  * * * *

  John was silent as he held the fence post straight while his Poppa packed the dirt around it. “I'm sorry, Poppa about last night.” John finally spoke.

  “Son, I realize you're different, but you don't live in that world that's in your head. You're in this world and it's hard, I worry about you. I know you and your momma feel I'm too harsh and that I should respect the softness in you.” Daniel looked directly into John's eyes. “Your momma yearns to protect you from the harshness of life, she doesn't understand being a man, how important it is for you to learn the things I'm trying to teach you.” He shook his head. “She's going to have to let you face reality no matter how painful it may be for her. She must allow the soft gentle hands of you, her only scholar, to become rough and able to survive in this hard world.”

  “I just don't think I'm ever going to be what you want me to be.” John looked away.

  “Son, there's something going on in this wilderness that's causing strange and unusual animal behavior,” Daniel said. “That bear never should have been out this time of year roaming around. Especially not on our porch. We must get busy and put up extra provisions for this winter. Stack more wood. Gather more food. I'm concerned that the deer are getting scarce. I'm going to need your help, not your hindrance.”

  “Yes, Sir.” John felt no better after their conversation. He could never win his Poppa's approval by being himself. He dropped his head.

  Soon the meat was hanging in the little smokehouse which was not even as big as the outhouse. The many pegs nailed into the walls and on the crossbeams held the fresh meat. A hole in its floor contained a small fire that was smothered with wet hickory chips. This smoldering sweetness cured and flavored the meat. Over the coming days, while the meat smoked, a close watch was kept on the tiny smokehouse. Daniel gave John the task of adding the chips as needed. This was a chore he actually enjoyed. He liked filling his nostrils full of the sweet aroma that wafted through the air.

  “Well, for a boy who don't like to shoot the animals you sure do like to sniff at ‘em smoking,” Daniel teased.

  “Well, Poppa. It's different when I can't see their heads and sad little eyes,” John picked back at Daniel.

  “I suppose you shouldn't be looking at their sad little eyes. If you enjoy the meat, you are gonna have to do your part to put it on the table.” He looked at John coyly. “Now finish up.”

  “Yes, Sir.”

  After he'd added the chips, John went inside and sat down at the table with his book to delve into that other world which only existed within its worn pages. Nothing from the real world could invade now, no chores, no guns, no hunting. His finger began to twist and turn his thick dark curls. He noticed nothing or no one. Not even Marion's huffing groaning as she knelt scrubbing the floor, “Bring me the soap, Aggie,” she snapped in exasperation. “I don't know what's on this floor, but it's not coming up.”

  “Let me do it, Momma.” Agnes pleaded. “You look tired.”

  “No, this floor needs some strong elbow grease. I want it done right.” She continued her task. Suddenly, She fell from her knees onto the wet floor, dumping the bucket over as she went. Water sloshed everywhere.

  “Momma!” Agnes screamed as she ran to Marion. “John, go get Poppa!”

  John had already jumped up. He ran to get Daniel who was out in the barn salting and re-scraping the bear hide. “Poppa, something's wrong with Momma! Hurry!” he yelled. Daniel dropped everything and ran to the house. He took Marion in his arms. “Marion... oh Marion! What's wrong?”

  “The baby!” She cried. “Get me to the bed.” Daniel lifted her from the floor and carried her into the room where he laid her down.

  Agnes brought water and a rag. Daniel soothed Marion's brow with trembling hands. “What can I do?” he cried.

  “Just stay with me... there's nothing to be done now.”

  “Just rest, you've been working too hard. I shouldn't have let you overdo. You get some rest, you'll be fine in a little while.”

  “Daniel, the baby is coming,” she groaned in despair. She grabbed his hand as she screamed out in pain.

  “No, it's too soon!” Daniel frantically denied that possibility. “You're not due for another two months.”

  “Whether it's time or not, it's coming. Oh, I'm so scared.” She cried out.

  “You rest, it'll be fine, don't worry,” he continued to assure her.

  Late that evening everyone stood looking at the tiny infant. He was so small yet so perfect. “It's such a beautiful baby.” Agnes gently stroked his small head.

  “I wish it weren't dead,” Nathan whimpered. “I could have had a little brother.”

  John wiped the tears from his eyes.

  Chapter Two

  * * * *

  The loss of the little baby boy they named Matthew devastated Marion. All she seemed able to do was lie in bed and cry. Some days she'd attempt to get up and run the house, but after a while she'd return to her bed in tears. Daniel didn't know how to cope without her. It was as if h
e'd not only lost his child but his wife as well. Daniel couldn't take it any longer, so one morning he went to her and said, “Marion, you've got to get over this. Everything is falling apart around us! The children need you and I need you!”

  “Leave me be and let me grieve. My belly and my arms are empty. I feel so heartbroken. Just let me get over it. This kind of hurt will take time. I'll be all right, I just can't go on like nothing happened. We lost our baby.”

  “I understand that. We're all heartbroken, but we can't stop living because of that. We have to go on.” His eyes began to tear. “Marion, your arms won't be empty if you'll just take us in them again!”

  Marion pulled herself up in bed and looked into her husband's desperate face. “Oh, Daniel, what have I done? I've only thought of my own pain. I've shut myself away from you all and ignored your needs.” She glanced over at the door to where the children's sad faces were peeping in. “I have to get on with life. For the sake of the family I have to put this behind me.” The pain was evident in her eyes as she stood. “I'm sorry I've been so thoughtless, we all lost little Matthew, forgive me for making it worse on us.” She held out her arms and the children ran to her. “I am truly blessed to have you all.” She smiled warmly as she held them close.

  “If you feel like eating now, I fixed a stew and some biscuits,” Agnes offered hopefully.

  “That would be wonderful.” Marion stroked her child's cheek.

  “It's bear stew, we didn't have any rabbit meat.” Agnes made excuses for the meal as Marion walked into the kitchen and sat down.

  “That's fine, I'm sure whatever you fix will be delicious, sweetheart.”

  “I fixed the last of the deer yesterday.”

  “Well, this old bear smells pretty good.” Marion sounded cheerful. “Daniel, why don't you go hunting now. I'll be fine. We need more meat.”

  “Are you sure you'll be all right, Marion?” Daniel looked at her in concern.

  “Yes, I'm sure. Everything is all right now. It's time we all got back to normal.”

  “All right, then. While you're eating, I'm going to teach this boy of ours how to hunt. He's old enough to start learning. Come on, John.” He took D.J.'s rifle and shoved it toward him.