By Way of the Rose Page 17

  “I'm sorry, but I thought I'd explode if I didn't let this out. I didn't mean to take it out on you. I love you too, John.”

  “Come on, my Princess, you have children to teach.” He smoothed back a strand of Sarah's dark hair. “I can't undo the past. But I'm here now and I will do anything to make it up to you and to make you happy.”

  “If you go away again, you must promise to take me with you. Don't ever leave me here. If you leave me again I'll die, I'll just die! Your being here has given me something back, something I lost when you went away. I can't live like that ever again! I can't! If you run off and leave me here, I'll just die! I'll be bitter and hateful and I'll hate you most of all for leaving me!”

  “All right, all right. I'll take you with me, just please stop crying! I'll never leave you again.”

  “You promise? You swear?”

  “Yes, yes! With all my heart I swear it! I swear I'll never leave you again.” John hugged her close. “You'll always be my beautiful Princess,” He whispered softly. The smell of her hair and the feel of her in his arms made him completely forget about the little girl as he wanted to hold this woman for the rest of his life. He suddenly stepped back. “Now, let's go. Want a piggy back ride?” He laughed, trying to bring himself back to little Sarah.

  “Maybe, on the way home.” She gave him a weak smile.

  “I saw you and Miss. Sarah walking to the school.” Mr. Hamilton smiled as John entered the store. “It sure is great seeing you two together again. Like old times around here. I remember when you used to bring that little one to town on your back. Goodness, how long ago was that? Seems just like yesterday.”

  “I know, I should have come back before now.”

  “What kept you away so long?”

  “I wish everyone would stop asking me that. It was business and Nathan.”

  “Nathan more than business I suppose, huh? I figured as much. That boy walks around with a chip on his shoulder the size of a boulder. Nobody can get along with him... or he can't get along with nobody. Whichever way you wanna take it.”

  “I never could figure him out. I don't know what he wants. But I can guarantee you, it isn't me!” John shook his head. “Well, old man, you have any good books in stock?”

  “I don't know if they're good or not. The boy that used to order them for me just up and left town. I wouldn't know a good book if it bit me.” They laughed and talked as if no time at all had passed.

  John strolled over to the library and sat at the table where he and Sarah had spent so many happy hours. He could almost see that little girl sitting there, with her bright eyes and cheerful face. “Mr. Elf Goes To Town,” John whispered to himself as he slowly walked out the door and started on the path that cut through the woods toward home. He remembered them playing hide and seek among the bushes and trees. Their laughter rang to the far ends of the woods as he pretended not to know where she was, yet all she had hidden was her little face behind the small sapling that was now a tall, full tree with birds nesting in its branches.

  It was almost eleven o'clock when John got home. “Did you throw the biscuits away, Momma?” His cheerful voice rang out as he walked in.

  She smiled back at him. “Yes, I did. But guess what? I made fresh ones just for you.”

  “Now, Momma, I remember when you'd have called that pure wasteful.”

  “Well this is a special day. My prodigal son is home and he deserves fresh hot ones, don't you think?” She hugged him. “I'm so glad you're here. It gets lonesome in this big house when everyone is gone. Day after day, I sit here all alone. It's so hard when I'm used to a big family and children always underfoot. It's just lonesome. Sometimes I even miss the old cabin. Everyone being so close and together, ya know?”

  “I never thought of it. I suppose you must get terrible lonesome.”

  “Well, you're here now. Let's talk and eat those biscuits!” She smiled as she took the biscuits from the stove.

  Weeks passed and John eased back into his place in the family. He began doing chores with Daniel. But when Sarah got home in the evenings, they spent every available minute together. Sometimes they'd sit down by the spring for hours just talking and getting to know each other again. She fascinated John with her mature personality and in-depth understanding. He just sat there looking long into her eyes as she talked to him about her students. The bright ones, the ones who challenged her, and the ones who were just downright incorrigible.

  John being home was like a dream come true for Sarah. When Nathan came over John would whisk her away from his torment, keeping everything peaceful in her world. John was here, she was safe and she had him all to herself.

  “Sarah, would you like to go into town with me and the twins this afternoon? We're going to have tea with Mrs. Hamilton and let her measure the girls for their summer frocks,” Marion asked.

  “No, I guess I'll stay here and wait for John to get done in the field. He promised he'd help me pick some blackberries for a cobbler.”

  “I may not be back in time to make a cobbler,” Marion snapped.

  “Oh, I'll make it. I remember how you do it.”

  “Well, in that case, do you think you can remember how to cook the whole supper too? That would be more useful than you flitting around all day with your brother.”

  “Yes, ma'am. I surely can.”

  “Well, we won't rush back then, have it ready by supper time. We'll all be hungry.”

  “I know. Just go and have a good time. Tell Mrs. Hamilton hello for me.”

  Sarah busied herself preparing what she would cook for supper. Later she and John would pick the berries for the cobbler. As she waited for John to come in she cleaned the house and peeled the potatoes. She heard someone coming and looked out the window as Nathan rode up to the house, hopped down from the wagon and lumbered in.

  “Where's everybody?” he snapped.

  “John and Poppa are working. Momma and the twins went into town.”

  “When will they be back?”

  “I have no idea.”

  “Well, when did they leave, oh bright one? Don't smart with me you wench! You must have a little bit of an idea!” Sarah could tell that he was somewhat tipsy.

  “They left about an hour ago, I guess. I'm supposed to have supper ready when everyone comes in. So, I suppose they'll be home by supper time.”

  “What are you cookin’ up? Savage stew?” He let a loud guff-haw.

  “No, it's idiots’ delight. You are staying for supper, aren't you? So, I'm sure you'll be delighted!” Sarah was shocked at her outburst. What was wrong with her? Just who did she think she was? Stupid, stupid, Sarah! John being home had given her a voice, but she trembled as she realized who she had used it on... Nathan, of all people, and there was no one else around. He lumbered toward her, his eyes narrowed.

  “You watch yourself, or I'll slap the taste off that wagging tongue of yours.”

  “You're the one to be watching himself. I'm not afraid of you anymore!” Sarah lied. She was terrified. She was just as scared of Nathan as she'd even been. Even more so now that she'd been so brazen as to sling a scathing retort.

  “Why ain't you scared anymore? Because your precious John is here? I'll slap you both into tomorrow!” He drew back his fist toward Sarah and she backed away from him.

  “If you hit me John will see... I'll tell him you did it! I won't lie for you this time! I swear, I'll tell him!”

  “Just what is that little pansy boy of yours going to do to me?” He grabbed Sarah by the arm. She kicked him, as hard as she could in the shin. He bent down to rub his stinging leg. “You got it now gal!” He hissed as she ran upstairs into her room and shut the door. “Get out here you damn witch!” She stood against the door. He pushed against it harder and harder until she couldn't hold it any longer. She fell back onto the floor and Nathan stepped into the room.

  “Get out!” She screamed. “Leave me alone! Get out of my room!”

  “Oh, you don't want me in your
room?” He grabbed her by her hair and pulled her up towards him. “Then we better get out of here.” He slapped her into the hallway. He grabbed her and drew back his fist just as John topped the stairs.

  “Don't you dare!” His voice sounded like it thundered from somewhere deep inside him like a tiger's roar. Nathan looked up in shock. Surely his every nerve ending must have bristled at the coldness in John's rage. But Sarah knew he wouldn't show fear! He wouldn't back down!

  He stiffened his back in defiance. “What is it with you and this savage witch?” He yelled. “You act like she's a bit more than your sister, if you ask me!”

  “You nasty-minded bastard! Get out of this house before I throw you out.”

  “Ha! Like it's yours. I'll stay here as long as I want to. Sarah's bewitched little man ain't gonna tell me what to do. Throw me out indeed, you might break a sweat and then what?” Nathan drunkenly swaggered up to John and boldly shoved his chest into him.

  “You reek of liquor. I'm not fighting a simple minded drunk. Come on, Sarah, if he won't leave we will.” John took Sarah and went down the stairs.

  Nathan was close behind them. “Oh, ‘simple minded’ am I now?” He grasped John by his shoulder and pulled him around. “You ready to finish what we started those years ago before you took off like the little Pansy you are?”

  John pulled around and kept walking. Nathan grabbed Sarah and slung her aside. She landed hard against the wall. John's anger erupted and he flew into Nathan with all his might.

  “Stop it! Oh please stop!” Sarah cried out. They didn't hear her. They didn't choose to hear her. Nothing mattered to them except delivering the hardest blow they could muster up. They tumbled backwards into a curio knocking it over and shattering the delicate figurines that Marion so prized, but still they fought. Sarah ran with all her might to get Daniel. By the time they got back the fight was over. John sat at the foot of the stairs, the house was a shambles and Nathan was gone.

  “Good God Almighty, look at this, look at what you've done to your momma's house! What's wrong with you two bull-headed idiots? I hope you're both proud of yourselves! Where's Nathan?”

  “He tucked his tail between his legs and ran home like the coward he is. I wanted to kill him this time, Poppa... I swear I did!”

  “He's your brother, boy!”

  “He's not my brother! He's never been my brother! I don't know who the hell he is!”

  “Don't you talk that way in my house!”

  “This is it Poppa... I'm leaving. I can't take it. I'll kill him if I stay. I'm going to get this place cleaned up and then I'm gone.”

  “You'll break your mother's heart if you leave like this again.”

  “How broke will Momma's heart be if her sons kill each other? I see now that Nathan and I will never get along. I know he loves me and I love him... I don't know what this is. I don't know what this is. I don't understand this.” He looked around the shattered house in frustration. “I don't like it anymore than anyone else. It breaks my heart to have to leave again... to have to leave after something like this again.” John hung his head. “It's my own fault. I should have moved on before now. I felt it building up but I thought I could control myself, but when I saw him hit Sarah... Oh, Poppa, it was foolish of me to think I could stay. It just felt so good to be home. I wanted it to work so bad.”

  “We can't sit here all day crying over spilt milk, we've got to get this place back into some sort of order before your momma gets home.”

  With heavy hearts, Sarah, John and Daniel began cleaning up and repairing what they could. They had it done before that evening. The house looked better than ever, but Marion could tell by John's battered face that all was not well.

  “Oh no... Nathan and you?” her voice quivering in anguish was but a whisper. She sobbed as she reached out to touch his face. “I knew it was coming, I could feel it. I hoped against hope that it wouldn't happen.”

  “I know, Momma. I tried, really I did, I'm sorry.”

  “I know you did, son. Seems as if you two were just born to lock horns.”

  “I'll be leaving in the morning.”

  “No! Oh, please don't go! I'll never see you again. I know you'll never come back home. It was twelve years you stayed away... how long will it be this time?”

  “I'll come home again soon. Everything would have been fine if I could have just taken Sarah and walked out. He wouldn't have it. He went too far this time and I couldn't walk away. He just went too far. There's nothing on the face of this earth that I can do but leave. Sarah is coming with me this time and I'll bring her back for visits but we for sure won't stay long.”

  Sarah looked at John a little shocked and surprised, her face lit up. He's taking me with him! He is really taking me with him! I'm leaving here! No more Nathan, oh, thank God!

  “You're leaving too?” Marion looked at Sarah.

  “Oh yes, Momma... I am. I love you dearly but I can't stand Nathan either.”

  “What about the children and the school? Who's going to take over when you're gone?”

  “I'm sure Greta wouldn't mind taking my spot. I don't know why you're so against me going anyway... didn't you want me gone? What was all that about trying to marry me off?”

  “That was for your own good. You need to settle down with a family and not go gallivanting off with your brother. And Greta don't have time for that school. She's a married woman with children.”

  “She'll do it. I know she will. I'm going to go talk to her now.” Sarah hurried out of the house. Right then, she didn't care if no one taught the school. She didn't care what anyone thought... she was leaving here! And she was leaving with John!

  “You want me to do what?” Greta was shocked.

  “Take over the school. It'd be a pity to let it die.”

  “George would never allow it.”

  “Allow? Greta, since when has George ever ruled you?”

  “This is different, Sarah. If it brought in extra money maybe I could talk him into it. But to leave the house to itself to go off teaching for free? He would bust a gut!”

  “Well, if not you, the school will die. I've put enough years into it. I'm leaving, Greta.”

  “Where are you going?”

  “With John. He's leaving in the morning and I'm going with him.”

  “I thought he was staying.”

  “He came in and caught Nathan about to hit me. They got in the most awful fight. Now, he's leaving and taking me away from this! I'm not staying, I don't care about the school, if you don't take it over maybe someone else will. I'm not staying behind because of it. I'm not going to be beat down anymore! This is my chance and I'm taking it.”

  “You go, Sarah. Don't you worry or feel guilty over anything. I'll teach or I'll find someone who will. You get out of here and you be happy!”

  “Thank you, Greta! Thank you so much!” They hugged.

  Shane stepped from the house. His blond hair had been swiped back and held there from the sweat of the day. A deep tan made his eyes look even more blue as his chiseled jaw worked on a bite of apple pie. “What's going on here?” He looked at Sarah and cut her a crooked smile.

  “Sarah is leaving us, Shane.”

  “What? Leaving us? Why, and where are you going?” He looked shocked. The sparkle in his eyes faded away.

  “I'm leaving in the morning with John.”

  “What for? What's happened?”

  “Because he asked me to go and I want to go far away from here. Away from that crazy Nathan, anyway!”

  “Well, I want you to stay!” Shane's eyes flashed.

  “I know, but I'm leaving. I have to go, I want to go!”

  “But... ” Shane started to protest more.

  Greta interrupted him. “Let her go, Shane... Think of her, not yourself.”

  “But, Sarah... I love you! Don't you know that by now? Don't you know that I've always loved you? You don't have to be around Nathan! I'll take you anywhere you want to go.” He wrapped his arm
s around her. Tears came to Greta's eyes as she heard her brother's begging pleas.

  “Shane... please, don't talk like that. You know I don't like it. You and Greta are my best friends on earth, but we're not in love with each other. We're just best friends, and we'll always love each other.”

  “Maybe you're not in love with me, but don't tell me how I feel.”

  “I'm coming back, I'm not leaving for good. I couldn't do that, I'd miss you too much. I just want out of here away from everything, but mainly I want to be away from Nathan, you know that. I don't want to get married to do that.”

  Shane touched Sarah's face gently. Tears filled his loving eyes as he softly spoke to her. “Leave if that's what you need to do, but please don't forget me... us.” Shane hugged Sarah tightly then quickly left.

  Greta hugged her. “Write us. Let us hear from you often.”

  “I will. I promise. I'll never forget either of you ever... I love you both so much. I wish I could take you with me. This is my chance to have a life of my own and have a real adventure. You know me... I've craved this forever. I'm going to New York! And oh, how wonderful not to have to watch my back every minute of every day.”

  “I know... I want that for you too.” She wiped the tears from her eyes. “But don't let all the wonders of the world make you forget me. Come back, I'll be here. I'll always be here for you my dearest friend... my truest sister.”

  Sarah looked out the window of the speeding locomotive. Things whizzed by so fast it made her dizzy. She was excited and the light-headed feeling made her giggle.

  “What's so funny?” John looked up from the paper he was reading.

  His bruised face made her feel guilty about being so happy. “It's just a funny feeling I get when I look out the window. It makes me want to laugh.”

  “Yeah, I felt that way too on my first train ride. You'll get to where you pay it no mind after about seven hundred trips.”